April 25, 2021: Love is a Verb?
1 John 3:16-24
Rev. Rhonda Blevins
We know love by this, that he laid down his life for us—and we ought to lay down our lives for one another. How does God’s love abide in anyone who has the world’s goods and sees a brother or sister in need and yet refuses help? Little children, let us love, not in word or speech, but in truth and action. And by this we will know that we are from the truth and will reassure our hearts before him whenever our hearts condemn us; for God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything. Beloved, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have boldness before God; and we receive from him whatever we ask, because we obey his commandments and do what pleases him. And this is his commandment, that we should believe in the name of his Son Jesus Christ and love one another, just as he has commanded us. All who obey his commandments abide in him, and he abides in them. And by this we know that he abides in us, by the Spirit that he has given us.
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I have a first-grader at my house who has recently been learning about verbs at school.
“Mommy, do you know what a verb is?” he asked me.
“Yes!” I assured him, “A verb is an action word. Let me test you and see if YOU know what a verb is. Pick the verb in this sentence: Rhys hit the baseball.”
“Hit!” he said excitedly.
“Yes! Let’s try another one. Rhys ran to home plate.”
“Ran!” he said confidently.
“Yes! Let’s try another one. I love you.”
He cocked his head like a confused dog. “Love?” he said, not quite sure of himself.
“Yes!” I assured him.
“Love is . . . a verb?” he asked.
“Yes! Love is an action. It’s something we do.”
Thus ended the lesson on verbs and love.
Apparently my first grader isn’t the only one who needed a lesson about love. It seems that the early Christians to whom the book of 1 John was written needed a lesson about love as well.
1 John is widely believed to have been written around 100 AD. We’re not sure who penned the book of 1 John, but whoever wrote it did so to help those first Christians discern who the true teachers of the faith were, and one of the most important criteria in the discernment process, according to the author, is love.
The part of the book we read together was written to those early Christians to help them 1) know love, and 2) do love.
KNOW LOVE
Let’s tackle how we “know” or recognize genuine love.
We know love by this, that he laid down his life for us—and we ought to lay down our lives for one another. This is the same kind of language Jesus used as he described himself in the Gospel reading we shared together: “I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.”
Sometimes, I fear, we think of this idea of “laying down our life” for another in grandiose terms. “Yes! I would die for another person!” But, would we sacrifice our comfort, our security, our reputation, our preferences? Laying down our life isn’t just about dying for others, it’s about living for others. How can we “know” or recognize someone who truly loves God? Brennan Manning once wrote, “The litmus test of our love for God is our love of neighbor.” If you find someone who loves their neighbor well, you can bet that person is a genuine child of God.
DO LOVE
The second thing the writer of 1 John wants to instruct the people about love is how to “do” love. “Little children, let us love, not in word or speech, but in truth and action.” In other words, talk is cheap. Don’t tell me you love me . . . show me!
When I was in college the popular thing with the cool Christian kids was the WWJD bracelets . . . “what would Jesus do?” Apparently, I wasn’t a cool Christian kid, because I never owned one of those bracelets. It never resonated with me. I probably took it too literally, imagining transporting Jesus—a first century Jewish man—across space and time and landing him in present-day times in America. What would Jesus do? I think he would freak out! Think of it! Bicycles, cars, cell phones, airplanes, drones, the Kardashians??? WWJD? Freak out! That’s what he would do.
What I wanted to do was start a counter-movement with bracelets that read “WWLD?” What would love do? Love is the litmus test for genuine faith. In any and every situation, if we try to discern what the most loving response would be, that’s a pretty good compass for pointing us in the way of faith.
But today, I want to give you something more than a lecture on something as ethereal as love. I want to teach you an evidence-based approach to growing in the area of neighbor-love, more commonly called “compassion.” That’s our job, right? As disciples of Christ? To grow in our ability to love and show compassion? Over the past several years, a growing body of research has studied the effects of a particular prayer or meditation called the prayer of loving-kindness the loving-kindness meditation. Check out just some of the evidence-based benefits of a regular practice of this particular prayer:[1]
Increases positive emotions and decreases negative emotions
Decreases migraine and chronic pain
Decreases symptoms from PTSD and schizophrenia-spectrum disorders
Increases gray matter volume in the brain
Slows biological aging
Decreases bias toward others
Increases social connection
Curbs self-criticism
(and perhaps most importantly in light of today’s scripture reading) Increases empathy and compassion and makes you more helpful
With all of those benefits (according to science), it might be worth a try! So today I’m going to teach you something very practical we can do to grow in the grace of compassion, because love is a verb, after all. I will lead you through a shortened version of this prayer or meditation.
LOVINGKINDNESS MEDITATION
To begin, you want to get comfortable in your seat, take a couple of deep breaths, release any tension you may be experiencing, and if you’re comfortable doing so, you may want to gently close your eyes.
We begin with ourselves, recognizing it is difficult to share loving-kindness if we do not first extend loving-kindness to ourselves. I invite you to practice this prayer by repeating after me out loud, or silently if you’re more comfortable doing so:
May I be happy.
May I be healthy.
May I be safe.
May I live with ease.
Next, I invite you to think of someone close to you—someone you love deeply. Imagine them sitting near you—imagine looking in their eyes as you pray these words:
May you be happy.
May you be healthy.
May you be safe.
May you live with ease.
The next part of the prayer extends that same depth of compassion that you have for your loved one outward. Using the same prayer, think of someone who is neutral to you, you have no strong feelings one way or the other—could be a neighbor or a co-worker or the person who works at the store. Imagine that person sitting near you as you imaging looking in their eyes as you pray:
May you be happy.
May you be healthy.
May you be safe.
May you live with ease.
One of the most difficult and yet most rewarding aspects of this prayer is to pray these words over someone you find it difficult to love—someone in your family or a toxic friend or someone who hurt you in some way. Perhaps, if you’re ready, you can even pray this prayer over that person.
May you be happy.
May you be healthy.
May you be safe.
May you live with ease.
Notice your emotions, but don’t judge. It’s ok to feel whatever emotions that may have surfaced, especially during that last, most difficult prayer—anger, sadness, peace, nothing—part of the process in growing in loving-kindness is to be self-aware without self-judgment.
We close our prayer with the word we use to close many of our prayers . . . the word means “let it be.” And all God’s people said, “amen.”
The science suggests that there are both immediate and long-lasting effects from this prayer practice. There is no right or wrong way to practice this prayer, but here are some things to consider if you’re willing to give it a try:
Carve out some time each day for, say a week. Perhaps in the morning, or before bed. The key is to commit and to be consistent.
Begin your practice from a comfortable spot with as few distractions as possible.
Always begin the prayer with yourself. Extend the prayer of loving-kindness to yourself first, and notice what changes you might experience. Some notice a softening, others a decrease in anxiety. Each person is different—what will you notice?
For beginners, it may be helpful to use an online guided meditation on YouTube, or a podcast.
If you don’t use a guided meditation, try setting a timer for two minutes for starters. As you progress you can increase your time. Having a timer may prevent the mind from wandering or worrying.
Now, I’m aware that this sermon was more of a “how-to” than you’re used to. But it’s important, sometimes, to bring faith from our heads to our hands, if you will. To offer practical ways to practice this faith we say we believe.
From time to time I remind you of my great hope for all who choose to worship with us here at the Chapel—that as a result of participating in the Chapel we would all become more loving versions of ourselves. Isn’t that what the author of 1 John is saying? Let us love, not in word or speech, but in truth and action.
Love is . . . a verb!
Today I’ve given you a practical, evidence-based tool for growing in the grace of compassion. Don’t leave that tool in the toolshed this week. Take it out! Become a more loving version of yourself this week! Here’s my prayer for you:
May you be happy.
May you be healthy.
May you be safe.
May you live with ease.
Let it be.
Amen.
[1] Emma Seppälä, “18 Science-Backed Reasons to Try Loving-Kindness Meditation,” Psychology Today, Sept. 15, 2014, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/feeling-it/201409/18-science-backed-reasons-try-loving-kindness-meditation (accessed April 24, 2021).