We love. Matthew 5:38-48. 06/09/24.
We Love
Matthew 5:38-48
Rev. Rhonda Blevins
June 9, 2024
“You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I say to you: Do not resist an evildoer. But if anyone strikes you on the right cheek, turn the other also, and if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, give your coat as well, and if anyone forces you to go one mile, go also the second mile. Give to the one who asks of you, and do not refuse anyone who wants to borrow from you.
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be children of your Father in heaven, for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good and sends rain on the righteous and on the unrighteous. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers and sisters, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the gentiles do the same? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.
______
When my youngest was in first grade, he was studying verbs in school . . .
“Mommy, do you know what a verb is?” he asked me.
“Yes!” I assured him, “A verb is an action word. Let me test you and see if YOU know what a verb is. Pick the verb in this sentence: Rhys hit the baseball.”
“Hit!” he said excitedly.
“Yes! Let’s try another one. Rhys ran to home plate.”
“Ran!” he said confidently.
“Yes! Let’s try another one. I love you.”
He cocked his head like a confused dog. “Love?” he said, not quite sure of himself.
“Yes!” I assured him.
“Love is . . . a verb?” he asked.
“Yes! Love is an action. It’s something we do.”
Thus ended the lesson on verbs and love. (Yes, I realize that “love” can also be a noun, but let’s not confuse the little tyke, shall we?)
Love is an action. It’s something we do. And according to Jesus, love is THE MOST IMPORTANT thing we do.
Case in point: when a Pharisee approached Jesus and questioned him saying, “Teacher, which commandment in the law is the greatest?” In other words, “What is the most important thing we must DO?” What was Jesus’ reply? “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.” He followed this by saying, “And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” (Matthew 22:36-39) This is commonly called the “Great Commandment.” What’s the verb Jesus used? “Love.”
So when many of you gathered on a Saturday back in January to think deeply about who we are as a church and what is most important to us, it comes as no surprise that this verb, “Love,” came up again and again. And when the leadership team gathered the next day to wordsmith everything that was discussed, they knew they needed to include the verb “love.” And so after considering the other nine verbs, they gave the other nine core commitments some descriptors, like those in the first three:
We welcome and include all who come our way.
We gather weekly for worship and fellowship.
We pray for one another and our world.
But love? Love is different. Love is the reason why we welcome, gather, pray, give, serve, forgive, sing, grow, and respect. And so, the team decided, love needs no descriptor. And so, the final core commitment here at the Chapel is simply this:
We love.
Love. We talk a lot about love around here. But if you think this is one of those feel-good, cotton-candy sermons about puppy dogs and heart emojis, not so fast!
You see, there are people we find easy to love, right? When Jesus taught us to love our neighbor as ourselves, we resonate with that, and imagine it to be an easy thing. Because, let’s face it: it’s easy to love those who look like us, think like us, act like us. It’s easy to love those who love us. What did Jesus say about that?
For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have?
Do not even the tax collectors do the same?
The Apostle John learned this lesson first-hand from Jesus. He went on to articulate this teaching further in his letter to the early church that we now call 1 John. Here’s what he writes:
Those who say, “I love God,” and hate a brother or sister are liars, for those who do not love a brother or sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen.
Our faith, as followers of the way of Christ, demands that we not only love those who are easy to love but that we love our enemies, and that we pray for those who persecute us. That kind of love is not easy to do, and yet, that’s what Jesus expects of us. So when we say “We love,” here at the Chapel, this is an aspirational statement. We love, certainly, but our love is incomplete. We’ve still got work to do!
Not convinced? Take a second, and think about someone you’ve had difficulty with in the past. Does someone come to mind? Or try this, think of a group of people you’re quick to judge? Does a group come to mind? If your answer is “yes” to either of these questions, welcome to humanity. For most of us, our love is imperfect at best, for we have not yet attained that perfect love—agape love—that God has for each of us.
So to say “We love” is aspirational. It’s saying both “we love” and “we want to grow in the way of love.” And if our love is imperfect, and if we want to grow in the way of love, how do we do that? I’m glad you asked!
You might be interested to know that social scientists have been asking this question for years. Their research has shown that there are several pathways to grow in the way of love, including:
Gratitude Journaling: Writing down things you are grateful for on a regular basis.
Acts of Kindness: Performing small, spontaneous acts of kindness for others, such as helping a neighbor or volunteering.
Self-Compassion Exercises: These can include self-compassion breaks, where you practice speaking to yourself with the same kindness you would offer a friend.
Empathy Training: These may include perspective-taking exercises, role-playing, and practicing active listening.
These are all excellent. But there’s one practice I want to focus on today—a practice that research has shown is highly effective in fostering love (or what researchers tend to call empathy, prosocial behavior, or compassion). I taught this practice to you a few years ago, but in case you’ve slept since then, I think it bears repeating.
The practice is called “The Prayer of Loving-Kindness” or “Loving-Kindness Meditation.”
I was reminded of it recently when my friend who introduced the prayer to me sent me a note on which she had hand-written the prayer on the envelope.
Before I teach you (or remind you) of this simple prayer, I want you to hear some of the evidence-based benefits of a regular practice of this particular prayer:
Increases positive emotions and decreases negative emotions
Decreases migraine and chronic pain
Decreases symptoms from PTSD and schizophrenia-spectrum disorders
Increases gray matter volume in the brain
Slows biological aging
Decreases bias toward others
Increases social connection
Curbs self-criticism
(and perhaps most importantly in light of today’s scripture reading) Increases empathy and compassion . . . what Jesus called “love”
Wow! With all of those benefits (according to science), it might be worth a try! So today I’m going to teach you something very practical we can do to grow in the grace of compassion, because love is a verb, after all. I will lead you through a shortened version of this prayer or meditation.
The prayer begins with ourselves, recognizing it is difficult to share loving-kindness if we do not first extend loving-kindness to ourselves. I invite you to practice this prayer by repeating after me out loud:
May I be happy.
May I be healthy.
May I be safe.
May I live with ease.
Next, I invite you to think of someone close to you—someone you love deeply. Imagine them sitting near you—imagine looking in their eyes as you pray these words:
May you be happy.
May you be healthy.
May you be safe.
May you live with ease.
The next part of the prayer extends that same depth of compassion that you have for your loved one outward. Using the same prayer, think of someone who is neutral to you, you have no strong feelings one way or the other—could be a neighbor or a co-worker or the person who works at the store. Imagine looking at that person in the eye as you pray:
May you be happy.
May you be healthy.
May you be safe.
May you live with ease.
One of the most difficult and yet most rewarding aspects of this prayer is to pray these words over someone you find it difficult to love—someone in your family or a toxic friend or someone who hurt you in some way. Jesus said, “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” This is a practical, if possibly difficult, prayer to pray. Perhaps, if you’re ready, you can even pray this prayer over that person.
May you be happy.
May you be healthy.
May you be safe.
May you live with ease.
When you pray this prayer, notice your emotions, but don’t judge. It’s ok to feel whatever emotions that may surface, especially during that last, most difficult prayer—anger, sadness, peace, nothing—part of the process of growing in loving-kindness is to be self-aware without self-judgment.
We close our prayer with the word we use to close many of our prayers . . . the word means “let it be.” And all God’s people said, “Amen.”
The science suggests that there are both immediate and long-lasting effects from this prayer practice. There is no right or wrong way to practice this prayer, but here are some things to consider if you’re willing to give it a try:
Carve out some time each day for, say a week. Perhaps in the morning, or before bed. The key is to commit and to be consistent.
Begin your practice from a comfortable spot with as few distractions as possible.
Always begin the prayer with yourself. Extend the prayer of loving-kindness to yourself first, and notice what changes you might experience. Some notice a softening, others a decrease in anxiety. Each person is different—what will you notice?
For beginners, it may be helpful to use an online guided meditation on YouTube, or a podcast.
If you don’t use a guided meditation, try setting a timer for two minutes for starters. As you progress you can increase your time. Having a timer may prevent the mind from wandering or worrying.
Now, I’m aware that this sermon was more of a “how-to” than you’re used to. But it’s important, sometimes, to bring faith from our heads to our feet, if you will. To offer practical ways to practice this faith we say we believe. So when we say, “We love,” we’re also saying that we want to grow in the way of love. This practice, the prayer of loving-kindness, is a wonderfully effective way that we can grow in love.
From time to time I remind you of my great hope for all who choose to worship with us here at the Chapel—that as a result of participating in the Chapel we would all become more loving versions of ourselves. If we can do that, you know what else will fall into place? Welcoming, gathering, praying, giving, serving, forgiving, singing, growing, and respecting.
Today I’ve given you a practical, evidence-based tool for growing in the way of love. Don’t leave that tool in the toolshed this week. Take it out! Become a more loving version of yourself this week! Here’s my prayer for you:
May you be happy.
May you be healthy.
May you be safe.
May you live with ease.
Let it be.
Amen.