October 10: Resilience: Facing Our Fears
Joshua 1:1-9
Rev. Rhonda Blevins
After the death of Moses the servant of the Lord, the Lord spoke to Joshua son of Nun, Moses’ assistant, saying, “My servant Moses is dead. Now proceed to cross the Jordan, you and all this people, into the land that I am giving to them, to the Israelites. Every place that the sole of your foot will tread upon I have given to you, as I promised to Moses. From the wilderness and the Lebanon as far as the great river, the river Euphrates, all the land of the Hittites, to the Great Sea in the west shall be your territory. No one shall be able to stand against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will not fail you or forsake you. Be strong and courageous; for you shall put this people in possession of the land that I swore to their ancestors to give them. Only be strong and very courageous, being careful to act in accordance with all the law that my servant Moses commanded you; do not turn from it to the right hand or to the left, so that you may be successful wherever you go. This book of the law shall not depart out of your mouth; you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to act in accordance with all that is written in it. For then you shall make your way prosperous, and then you shall be successful. I hereby command you: Be strong and courageous; do not be frightened or dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
_____
As I walked into the E.R. that day, I noticed that things were not business as usual. A school bus sat outside, and teenagers were being taken inside in wheelchairs and on stretchers. Some were being assisted as they limped in. Many of them had red stains on their clothing; some had been bandaged already. But something wasn’t quite right. The whole scenario seemed off in some strange way.
I stepped to the counter and asked where I might find the church member I was seeking. They told me that because of their drill, no visitors were being allowed into the E.R. Aha! A drill. Those teenagers had fake blood and that’s why they were laughing through what appeared to be a tragic situation.
However, I was a little taken aback that I couldn’t get in to see my friend. It seemed unfair to us both. It made me wonder if his care was being neglected so that E.R. personnel could run this drill.
Of course, drills like this are helpful for an ER to be ready in the case of a real emergency of that magnitude. I get that. But I couldn’t help but wonder if the fear about some unforeseen event in the future was preventing them from providing the best possible care to my friend, a “real, live patient.”
That happens a lot, you know. As individuals, we often allow our anxiety about the future to prevent us from living our best life in the here and now.
Another day in another hospital, as I walked down the hallway I overheard a woman on her cell phone. I heard her tell the person on the other end of the line, “Just quit worrying.” As I continued walking down the hall, I thought about how futile that statement was. I have no doubt that it was said out of love, but I can’t imagine it was a very helpful thing to say to her friend or loved one.
“Quit worrying?” Sure. I’ll get right on that. Don’t you wish it was that easy? But it’s not that easy. Maybe that’s why “Do not fear” is repeated over and over again in the Bible.
The passage we read together from the book of Joshua is one of the many places where we hear the admonition to “fear not.” Let me set the scene for you:
The Hebrew people escaped from slavery in Egypt under Moses’ leadership. Moses led them in the desert for 40 years. Now Moses has passed, and the new leader, Joshua stands alongside the people of Israel at the edge of the Promised Land—called the “Promised Land” because it is the land God promised to Abraham many generations back. Now they are considering what it’s going to require of them to claim the land from the inhabitants there now. They know it means war, not just with one people group but many people groups. How much bloodshed will we face? Will we be victorious? If not, will that mean the end of our race?
That’s when God speaks to Joshua, instructing him and reassuring him with phrases like, “Cross the Jordan,” “I will be with you,” “be strong and courageous,” “do not be frightened or dismayed.” Sure God, I’ll get right on that. Joshua and the Hebrew people are surely afraid. Will they let their fear prevent them from claiming the land God has promised them?
The thing about fear, worry and anxiety: on one hand it can become crippling, on the other hand, if we face our fears, we can build resilience. The more practiced we become at overcoming our fears, the better prepared we become to face whatever life throws at us. That’s building resilience!
Psychologists call this “practice” at facing our fears “exposure therapy.” They suggest that:
“An important step in managing anxiety involves facing feared situations, places or objects. It is normal to want to avoid the things you fear. However, avoidance prevents you from learning that the things you fear are not as dangerous as you think. The process of facing fears is called EXPOSURE. Exposure involves gradually and repeatedly going into feared situations until you feel less anxious. Exposure is not dangerous and will not make the fear worse. And after a while, your anxiety will naturally lessen.”[1]
On the flip side, “If you avoid things that cause anxiety, you teach your brain to be more afraid.”[2]
How do we do it? How do we face our fears? It’s there in the Bible passage we read together . . . here’s the Cliff’s Notes version: “Be strong and courageous; don’t be frightened or dismayed.” It takes courage to face our fears, but when we muster the courage to confront our fears, we can retrain our brains. It works something like this:
“Studies show we can overcome some of our fears by continued exposure to them. By constantly exposing ourselves to our fears, whether it extreme sports, horror movies, or snakes and spiders, our tolerance for them will grow . . .
Start with small doses. The first step is to expose yourself to small doses of the fear-inducing activity in a safe context. For example, if public speaking makes you nervous, you could start by seeking out a low-pressure speaking opportunity with a small, supportive audience, in a setting where you don’t have to worry about being perfectly articulate—perhaps giving a toast at a friend’s birthday party. Or if you’d like to learn to rock climb but are afraid of heights, you could start by spending time observing and assisting other climbers.
Repeat the activity until you start to feel the fear dissipate. Over time, repeated exposure to a safe, non-harmful version of whatever made you afraid can reduce the negative association and replace it with a neutral or positive association. For example, repeatedly seeing other people climb without falling may begin to overwrite your negative association with heights. And the more you fly and land safely, the less dangerous flying is likely to feel.
Gradually increase the challenge. After you begin to feel more comfortable with small doses, try taking it up a notch. For example, you could go from watching others climb to climbing a short distance yourself. Or you could volunteer to present the results of a team project to coworkers or fellow students. From here, you can continue to incrementally ratchet up the challenge until you reach your goal, whether that’s to scale Mt. Everest, give a talk in front of hundreds of people, or fly to a new continent.
Your fear may never be fully extinguished, but hopefully it will hold less power over you and not prevent you from achieving important goals and enjoying your life. In the words of Mark Twain, “Courage is not the absence of fear. It is acting in spite of it.”[3]
So my friends I wonder: When have you found unexpected courage?
I posted this question on our church Facebook page and here are some replies:
Carla Creegan: “Going back to college at 43. Walking into class as a freshman with a bunch of recent high school grads. I was so intimidated and felt foolish, but they did not glance my way. That was just the first of many things I had to do that I never thought I could on my way to becoming a nurse. I wanted it bad enough and felt it was God’s calling for me.”
Suzanne Elaine: “Loss of my husband … to fly solo in all areas … still working on it every day!”
Kristen Mann: “If it can be done by other people, I convince myself that I can also do it!”
Courtney Angela: “After an accident last year I keep finding courage to get back in the car, get back to riding my bike, take my first trip, find a new provider for different solutions to healing, some days smiling through the pain and when it’s too much giving it up to Him. Asking for the lesson. Ready to turn a corner.”
Courage and resilience! Facing those fears time and again, Courtney getting into the car, Carla going to class, Suzanne going solo . . . each little step builds resilience. Over time, with each act of courage, fear no longer stands in the way between you and your dreams.
How do we build resilience? We look for silver linings (last week’s message), and we face our fears, one step at a time, one day at a time.
I don’t know what is causing you fear—maybe there’s a fear you’ve lived with your whole life, or maybe you have some new anxiety-inducing situation in your life. Life can be challenging and fear is a perfectly natural, perfectly human response. In fact, evolutionary biologists credit fear and our fight or flight response, with our survival as a species. But sometimes, our fear stands between where we are and where we want to be. Sometimes, our fear prevents us from living the life abundant that Jesus came to share.
We can retrain our brains by facing our fears with each exposure to that which frightens us. That’s what I hope for you! That’s what I hope for our church! That we might not fear but that we might be “strong and courageous” just like God told Joshua to be.
So my friends, what is the “Promised Land” on the other side of your fear?
Be strong and courageous; do not be frightened or dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.
[1] http://anxietycanada.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/FacingFears_Exposure.pdf
[2] https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/prescriptions-life/201808/help-anxiety-facing-your-fears-will-heal-your-brain
[3] https://ggia.berkeley.edu/practice/overcoming_a_fear?_ga=2.204046034.319395186.1633544248-1868578522.1633181886