October 3, 2021: Resilience: Flip The Script
Romans 8:15-28
Rev. Rhonda Blevins
For you did not receive a spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received a spirit of adoption. When we cry, “Abba! Father!” 16 it is that very Spirit bearing witness with our spirit that we are children of God, 17 and if children, then heirs, heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ—if, in fact, we suffer with him so that we may also be glorified with him.
I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory about to be revealed to us. 19 For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the children of God; 20 for the creation was subjected to futility, not of its own will but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope 21 that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to decay and will obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. 22 We know that the whole creation has been groaning in labor pains until now; 23 and not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the first fruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly while we wait for adoption, the redemption of our bodies. 24 For in hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what is seen? 25 But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.
26 Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but that very Spirit intercedes with sighs too deep for words. 27 And God, who searches the heart, knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.
28 We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.
______
Gordon and Sam were both bright young men. Both did well in high school without much effort. Then they went off to college. And like so many young adults during the first semester, Gordon and Sam were overwhelmed by the college life. So many girls! A party every night! And the professors didn’t even care if they showed up for class. Sweet! By the time final exams rolled around and Gordon and Sam decided to crack open their books, it was too late. They had no idea what was going on in their classes. Gordon and Sam flunked out of college in their first semester.
Back at their respective homes with mom and dad, their stories part ways. After the Christmas holidays, Gordon enrolled in community college and got a part time job. Sam did neither of those things. He spent his days at home letting YouTube algorithms lead him down endless rabbit holes. Gordon did well at community college, earning his associates degree, and when he went back to university, he was a little older, and a lot wiser. Two years later, Gordon had a university degree, and the world was his oyster. Poor ole’ Sam—his parents finally made him get a job. He took a dead-end job that he hated, but at least it got his parents off his back.
Now, I set these two fictional characters up for you to ask the question . . . what did Gordon have that Sam did not? Both young men faced the same adversity, the same challenge . . . Gordon bounced back, but Sam did not.
The answer? Resilience.
Over the next few weeks, I invite you to think about this word, “resilience.” We’ll be looking at evidence-based ways to build resilience in ourselves—methods that can help us overcome adversity. And of course, we’ll explore these pathways to resiliency through the lens of faith.
What made me start thinking about resilience? We’re one and a half years into a global pandemic—perhaps you’re noticing, like I have, that some individuals have showed remarkable resilience while others have struggled to bounce back. The same is true of businesses. Some businesses have bounced back, others had to shutter their doors forever. The same is true of churches. Some churches have rebounded, others are gasping for air.
Noticing these meta-patterns, I began to wonder, “What quality distinguishes churches, businesses and individuals that have found a way to thrive when so many have floundered?”
It seems that the answer boils down to one word: resilience.
These past few months have been rough. Let’s acknowledge that it has been far more challenging for some than others. Older adults, single adults, individuals with respiratory issues, those who are immunocompromised, people struggling with addiction, victims of domestic violence, and of course, those who have lost loved ones over this past year—the adversity of living through a global pandemic is multiplied for these individuals and others like them. When I think about how hard it’s been for me and my little family without these challenges, and then I think about those of you trying to make your way through a pandemic with these extra challenges, it’s hard for me to imagine. My heart goes out to you. That’s why I’ve never pushed for people to come back to in person church. That’s why I’m trying to expand my understanding of what church is—that Sunday morning worship includes those watching from afar—that online worship is just as valid as our in-person gathering. And just a word to those who are worshipping online even now—I know I’ve been far from perfect—I appreciate your patience with your pastor who is learning this new way to be church together.
Here’s the deal: the Christian life does not give us immunity from challenges and hardship. The faith comes with no “get out of difficulty free” card. This isn’t news to you.
Given that surety, how do we build resilience as individuals, even as a church? Are there proven methods for helping us bounce back and overcome the many challenges life might throw at us? The answer? Yes, there are!
But before we go too much further, let’s define what I mean by resilience. Miriam-Webster defines resilience as being able “to withstand, to recover quickly from difficult conditions, to spring back into shape.”
Can we foster this kind of resilience? (If you’ve been paying attention, you know the answer is “yes!” J)
One evidenced-based way to build resilience is to “flip the script” or the change the narrative.
The Apostle Paul does this masterfully in the section of his letter to the Christians in Rome that we read together a moment ago. Listen again:
I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory about to be revealed to us.
See how Paul “flipped the script?” See how he changed the narrative? If the focus was on “the sufferings of this present time” he changed the narrative to “the glory about to be revealed to us.” From despair to hope in one swift turn of phrase. Earlier in the same chapter Paul tells his friends in Rome: “To set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.” (Romans 8:6) Later in the letter, he tells them: “be transformed by the renewing of your minds.” (Romans 12:2).
It’s easy to get stuck in patterns of negative thinking. It’s easy to get lost in cycles of fear—to let anxiety have its way with us. But we don’t have to live that way. Paul writes that we “did not receive a spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received a spirit of adoption.” We have power, through the Holy Spirit, to choose hope over despair, and joy over fear.
There are some evidence-based methods—practical ways we can follow Paul’s advice to “be transformed by the renewing” our minds. And it’s not rocket science.
One evidence-based method to renew our minds, to flip the script, to change the narrative is to look for the silver linings in difficult circumstances.
Finding silver linings invites you to call to mind an upsetting experience and try to list three positive things about it. For example, you might reflect on how fighting with a friend brought some important issues out into the open, and allowed you to learn something about their point of view. In a 2014 study, doing this practice daily for three weeks helped participants become more engaged with life afterward, and it decreased their pessimistic beliefs over time. This wasn’t true for a group whose members just wrote about their daily activities. It was particularly beneficial for staunch pessimists, who also became less depressed. But the effects wore off after two months, suggesting that looking on the bright side is something we have to practice regularly.[1]
So I wonder, given the challenges and hardship over the past year and a half, what silver linings have you observed? (Receive responses in real time, like these I’ve collected this past week: deepened friendships, more time with family, less traffic and pollution, eating healthier at home, slowing down and “smelling the roses,” saving money, sunset walks.)
The sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing.
Here at the church there are some silver linings:
we launched not just a second service but a “second campus” with a robust online congregation
we found ways to stay connected with our snowbirds year round
deep friendships formed within our congregation, even among people who had never met in person
generosity flourished
people stepped up, your pastor learned a valuable lesson that she doesn’t have to carry the church as a solo operation
we learned that we’re stronger than maybe we thought we were
The sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing.
This isn’t a Pollyanna practice, this looking for silver linings. Remember, it’s an evidence-based practice for building resilience. But like many spiritual practices, the benefits will be experienced only through practice. This is one way that we might “be transformed through the renewing” of our minds. So keep on looking for those silver linings!
When we do that, we can be like the starfish—cut off a limb, and the starfish is so resilient that it grows that limb right back so long as the center of the starfish remains unharmed. As we find ourselves centered around the indwelling Spirit of the Most High God—you can cut off a limb, cut us off from one another, and we’ll just grow a new limb.
So come and get us, life! You can bend us, but you can’t break us. Like a phoenix we rise from the ashes again, and again, and again. And when it’s all said and done, “We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.”
[1] Kira Newman, “Five Science-Backed Strategies to Build Resilience,” Greater Good Magazine, https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/five_science_backed_strategies_to_build_resilience